Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness consume your senses of what is you. Your personality is dramatically disfigured and as it morphs into something ugly and cruel, you see and feel yourself resenting those you love and care about. When this troll of dispair enters your psyche there are only two way you can go. One, you enter a deeper hell of disbelief. You see those around you as your tormentors and your feelings are equal to hate and resentment for their frail attempts to tempt you out of your sewer of grief. When all seems to be at an end and you feel that no-one has a clue about your inner turmoil, you may (if you are lucky) see a chink of hope, a way forward and some hazy sense of positivity. Your inner convictions and survival grit rises from nowhere to push aside the negative elements of your past state.
As this transformation is taking place it is critical that you believe in yourself, not anyone else, YOUR SELF. You are the one who will get yourself out of this, no matter who is "by your side" in your moment of need. Belief that you will survive and strike forward, out of the sickness that had consumed your very soul is the only drive that you need. Without this feeling, even the most skilled professional will not lift you from the dust that is your depression.
Forward is the direction that all will tempt you, yet without your own belief you have no direct hold on what is real. Unless you can raise your hand and grasp that rung, you will fall ever further into your own chasm. Self pity has no place in your depression and fear is only seen when you feel that your "behaviour" should be pleasing those around you. This is far from what is important and the truth is that you must find a balance between listening to others and having a quiet place to "hide" from the noise of their expectations. Each equally important but, each must be held fast in their own realm. To feel their fingers touching will only increase the chances of a repeated fall from your positive state of mind.
Give yourself a pat on the back, as each day passes and you survive the rising tides of your lowered state of depression. I say, "lowered state", as I firmly believe that your never rid yourself of depression, you become more able to control its grasp on your life. Putting depression on the back burner and allowing it to simmer away, within a controlled environment is the way to go. As a smoker will be tormented by friends, on a night out to sneak a crafty fag, you will become aware of the ever presence of the simmering depression. However, you will know that you will be able to ignore its finger tips, as it feels its way into your heart and mind. It may create some trembling jitters of pain as you see it on its way but always remember you ARE in control.
Believe in yourself, believe in those you love and trust BUT always believe in YOURSELF.
Learn to recognise the chest "pain", the aches that rise from nowhere and the feelings of emotion that engulfs you and give yourself permission to leave the area of distress. People, places, what-ever, move away. Let those you care about know that you need space and you will see them when you feel more able to deal with them and the pressures that you need to deal with. Everyone else MUST wait and believe that you deserve time to yourself.
Enjoy life and dont feel you need to make excuses for your moods and/or behaviour when you are fighting off depression. You will be a better husband, wife, partner, friend etc.
Do it.
No comments:
Post a Comment
HAVE YOUR SAY AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE. ONE WORD CAN CHANGE A LIFETIME.
Our children are an asset we cannot squander. For those who seek to exploit or abuse our children, BEWARE! Our future depends on their safety, so we will protect them.