TO LOSE A LOVE has got to be one of the tragedies of being human. We grow to love someone and then, as if from nowhere, the fatal blow is uttered "we're finished". The sinking feeling and sheer sense of disaster that engulfs those concerned is devastating.
If the relationship has gone on for a number of years, and the persons involved have become so close as to finish each other's sentences, sense the needs of the other or just feel content when in their presents, the sense of despair is 100 fold. The world is literally scooped from beneath your feet and the determination to go on is deemed impossible. How do you cope, breath, eat, sleep, talk let alone think about "moving on"!
There is no clear or set answer to this situation and the path to a better world is paved with heart wrenching conflict and obstacles. To say you can remain friends is to impossible to contemplate and the mere mention of the "ex's" name creates floods of emotion. The senses of "flight or fight" are right up there with the thoughts of self degradation and depression. The thought of the other being in the arms of someone else and sharing the intimacies that you shared is cruelty immortalised.
YET, thousands of people, all around the world go through this very thing day after day, and generally spring, as if a resilient mountain goat, across the chasm of untold suffering. To look clearly at a relationship that has gone sour too soon is virtually impossible and should not be attempted by those who are inexperienced in these matters.
Best policy is to avoid self analysis or judgemental pondering about the other, when after a few days of quiet contemplation and a few sessions with the mates or those closer to you will draw the practical saint from you and thrust you forward into the "new world".
The idea is to take little steps at first, as a rush into a "rebound" relationship will spell disaster for you both (again). Enjoy the excitement of the chase and revel in the chit chat of the coffee shop or local pub, keep your sights fairly relaxed at first but as time inevitably dissolves before your very eyes, you will see the light and the new man/woman of your dreams.
At this moment you will know you have survived that which was lost and found a greater understanding of human nature and therefore (hopefully) be better armed to succeed in the barmy game of love. It's what keeps us alive and procreates the species so remember that "when one door (relationship) closes another opens".
My, old Gran, used to say as her Gran had told her, "there are always more fish in the sea, so take your rod and get fishing!" (I took a while to realise what she was saying) BUT it is true.
Love your partner and love life, as much as you can, because life IS short and I see so many people wasting their life on broken and violent relationships. We all deserve happiness, it is a shame that too many, these days, take for granted the loves we have right in front of us.
Take a look at your partner and tell them how you feel about them, if you don't like them don't waste both your lives or become violent or abusive of each other, find the love that is yours and be happy. To appreciate your partner will allow you to appreciate what is around you and you will be content with your part of the world.
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