grandadknows: Family Feuding?

Monday 11 January 2016

Family Feuding?

Oh no, not that old chestnut? Well yes, that is the topic of the day.

To say families never argue would be considered ignorant, or maybe naive.Yet, how is it that some families can be understanding and supportive of their counterparts and others feud at every mismanaged comment?

Maybe it is something to do with instability of the family dynamic, or could it be insecurity? I think a combination of the two. Some families find cooperation easy and they reap the fruits of that. To be understanding of "others" and to respect (yes, that word again) their elders and siblings too.

It is so easy to lay blame on other people, in every aspect of life. The family unit provides a hornit's nest of disagreement, jealousy and spite but without these aspects of life, how would we know when life was good?

Too many times, I have seen tears of joy from the proud elder, turn into a face of disappointment and regret. For over thirty years I have "swallowed my pride" and been subservient to the greater good. What has this tactic achieved? Well for a start, I believe, that respect comes about over time. After proving your willingness to forgive (maybe not forget) and by supporting each individual negative event with calm consideration and rational action, you find respect.

The willingness to give respect is as, if not more important than receiving it.

Historic experiences are not always the best of teachers and the more personal and emotional these experiences are, the greater the hurt they can revoke.

It is clear that when disagreement rises from the ranks, fears and insecurities can do their worst. Without calm, deliberate and considerate discussion there is little chance of agreement and/or closure.

It amazes me, how easily some people

blame others for actions and comments that could clearly have been avoided.

The smallest word can save so much agony and hurt, yet it is seldom used as often as it should.

I have "suffered" from a distinct inability to use this word and have found bouts of depression and anxiety following me, as a result. To be honest, I have found great love and a sense of belonging too but there will always be the very slightest of suggestions, that scream out, "what if".

All I can say, is live your life, be as happy as you can be and try to be as honest to yourself as you strive to be with others.

What is this "smallest" word? NO.

Maybe, in my next life, I will do a better job of being me?

Take care. 🐝💤💨

PS: What is it they say, "a bird in the hand"? Special things happen in life. Don't always take life for granted, or those who strive to aid YOUR journey, as you may just miss out on something magical.

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TOO MANY ACHES AND PAINS?

If you suffer from aches and pains it is important to make sure you have established whether these pains are superficial or critical, that is to say, as a result of a knock or bump or are more serious and may be some disabling condition.
Never be afraid or unsure about speaking to your doctor. As the saying goes, "it is better to be sure". Believe me it is always better, my wife and I went five years before we sort help from our doctor, to find out that she was suffering from "fibro-myalgia, angina and high blood-pressure" and I had damage to two areas of my spine and more recently asthma. She ended up in a wheel-chair for three years, only more recently (six years on) being able to walk some times, with great pain.
Never sell yourself short.

Grandadknows....

Foster or Kinship Care?? DO YOU HAVE A STORY?

A.R.K. ABERDEENSHIRE RELATIVES OF KINSHIP
CAMPAIGNING TO BALANCE THE RIGHTS OF KINSHIP CARERS AND FOSTER CARERS

Serving the North East of Scotland
EQUALITY FOR CHILDREN IN CARE? WHAT DO YOU GET??

FOSTER CARE
Named Social Worker
Child Psychologist Support
Financial Support to £30,000 per year plus expenses.
Paid excursions, amusements, transport, clothing, refreshment.
Regular core meetings, support.
Educational support.
Household expenses covered.
Travelling expenses.
Support from Scottish Executive to the sum of £800.00 (April 2007)

KINSHIP CARE
Limited Support from Non-designated Social Worker
Financial Support of £30.00/£40.00 per week (if lucky) dependant on post code and Social Worker’s commitment.
£50.00 towards school uniform, if you are able to locate and complete forms.
Support from Scottish Executive to the sum of £500.00 (April 2007)

FOCUS ON KINSHIP
Kinship Care provides immediate integration into the family of the affected child(ren). Less stress, generally on the child(ren). Higher chance for the child(ren) to be brought back into feeling positive about their future. Higher chance for a prolonged care period, to adulthood.
Larger “family” backup system.

FOSTER CARE
WHAT IS ON OFFER TO FOSTER CHILDREN.
Basically a child in Foster Care has the World at their finger tips, every effort is made to provide for the wellbeing and financial needs of that child. The Foster Carer is given an Allowance equal to £137.37 per week for a 16 to 18 year old (varies nationally and locally), plus travelling expenses, clothing allowance, bedding allowance, entertainment allowance, etc.
They have support from a named Social Worker who is there to give guidance and extended access to psychologists, doctors, psychiatrists, behavioural advisors, recreational support networks etc.
If a Foster Carer cannot cope with the child in their care, the child is returned for another one!
Problem Fostered Children are “homed” in establishments which charge the Local Authority £2000.00 per week, per child. A mentally challenged/overly aggressive child would be “homed” at a cost of £8000.00 per week.
Foster children are cared for by “strangers”, establishments, institutions.
What is immediately (generally) missing in the process of Fostering a child? Love, compassion, the intimate knowledge of the family history which can aid a child understand the loss of their parent(s).

SPECIAL NOTE: It is accepted that there are exceptional Foster Parents out there, with exceptional talents but generally, especially a short term fostering would cause extreme stress, strain and emotional turmoil for the child in question. This limiting the chances of a progressive and settled “homing” of the already tragically “broken” personality of the child.

KINSHIP CARE
WHAT IS ON OFFER TO A KINSHIP CARED CHILD
Financially a Kinship Cared for child is totally reliant on the member of family who has taken them in. If the Post Code area is supportive of Kinship caring and Social Workers are inclined to devote time to the needs of a child in Kinship Care, you may receive £30.00/£40.00 per week.
Despite the Human Rights Act and Children’s Acts supporting the equality of financial support for Kinship care, Local Authorities do not recognise their obligations to the Law.
As a Kinship Carer you will have to chase, call, write, telephone and pursue, to receive the minimum of assistance from a delinquent support network, which suggests that they have no funds or are unable to support Kinship Care in the way they support Foster Caring.
The Local Authorities are LEGALLY BOUND to provide, at least, the minimum allowance provided to Foster Carers. This is compounded within Human Right Acts, Children’s Act and numerous surveys and studies conducted over the last five to ten years.
Social Work Departments know Kinship Care provides some 46% of all child care, in “disrupted” families. They know Kinship Care saves the Local Authorities hundreds of thousands, if not millions of pounds, every year. Yet, they continue to exploit this amazing resource to the point of obscenity.
Local Authorities are content to degrade this system of highly skilled carers, yet they are again legally expected to provide official recognition for this service and to financially support Kinship Carers at an equal status.
Kinship cared for children are being neglected by Local Authorities and Social Service Departments, who it seems would rather see a child in a Care “Home” at £2000.00 per week, than reinforce the security and family influences of Kinship Carers.
It is time the Local Authority networks developed an effective strategy to support physically and financially the very people who are providing “proper” homes for unfortunate children.
Kinship Care should receive the recognition it deserves and the service identified as invaluable.
There is a National Network of Kinship Carers who are determined to highlight the illegal and damaging attitudes and strategies of Local Authority Social Service Departments.
It is up to YOU to enforce your rights to the physical and financial support that YOUR Local Authority should lawfully provide. It is up to YOUR Local Authority to respect their own duty to the effort and savings that YOU make for it, by your labours and Kinship Care.

YOU ARE WORTH THEIR SUPPORT, AND THEY KNOW IT!
SCEPTIC TANK - YOU TELL US WHAT YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITY SOCIAL SERVICE DEPARTMENT IS FAILING TO DO FOR YOU – regards Kinship Care.

CONTACT US:
Via: http://grandadknows.blogspot.com
G.A.P Grandparents as Parents (National)
Email: grandparentsasparents.co.uk
Kindred Spirits – Dumfries
Email: tuliprippinggale@hotmail.com
PADA/Kinship Carers (Liverpool)
Email: pada@ellergreen0.fsnet.co.uk

grandadknows

WELCOME.

Monday 11 January 2016

Family Feuding?

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